Thanksgiving asks us to celebrate the bounties of life and encourages us all to reflect upon the gifts of health and abundance we have been given and, most often, that involves gathering for a traditional family dinner. While such reflection should result in a full enjoyment of the peace, harmony, and tranquility which President Lincoln hoped the holiday would bring, sometimes family conflicts prevent the fulfillment of the entire promise of Thanksgiving.
Instead of allowing conflict to diminish your Thanksgiving, bring the techniques and approach of a mediator to the dinner table. This might help lessen the chance of the a breakout of awkward silences or passive/aggressive torments that we have all experienced while dining on turkey and stuffing.
Remember that almost everyone shares a basic desire to have a pleasant dinner, with good food and good conversation. Therefore, consider what the optimal Thanksgiving dinner would look like and do your best to help achieve that ideal holiday experience. Acknowledge every one’s efforts to contribute food, drink, or other gift and do your best to diffuse and re-direct others away from possible hot buttons that can lead to conflict.
Hosting a Thanksgiving dinner is a challenge. Hosts want their guests to enjoy their food and experience and want their work to be valued. Acknowledge your host’s efforts and help when ever possible. Put yourself in your host’s shoes and try to do those things you would want your guests to do and express appreciation for those things you would want others to notice and appreciate. If a rhubarb of one sort does break out, focus on putting out the fire, not solving the underlying problem. For most, Thanksgiving is a day for happiness, not constructing solutions to long held arguments. Leave the heavy work for another time and focus on those things that make everyone feel good. Remember that Thanksgiving is a celebration and a memorable, important day for everyone. Respect others, be on time, and have fun. Think about the experiences of those around you and keep your attention on enjoyment and happiness. Hopefully, this kind of approach will help you, and those around you, to have a wonderful and fulfilling Thanksgiving.
If you see that family is sinking into a conflict, there is always football and napping, sure fire ways to distract and re-direct.
Happy Thanksgiving and good luck.
Mediation Works 